I have been fully aware since middle school that I am a deep thinker. God blessed me with a mom who is one as well. I went through middle school, high school, college and now adulthood sharing with my mama about the deep desires of my heart. 1. Why does this guy not like me? 2. Why do my friends abandon me when they get a boyfriend? 3. Why do my friends not take my advice? 4. Why do I do most of the listening? 5. Why do my friends not return the same listening and advising that I offer them? 6. Where is he mom? 7. Why is it so hard for me to be a godly example? 8. Why am I so angry? 9. How do Christian marriages stay together? 10. Why did God allow this? I could go on an on about the never ending questions in my mind. Yes, I am prone to analyzing and questioning. It is probably part of my Melancholy personality. I am constantly seeking and
searching to understand God and His purpose for me.
I also desire to study the Word more deeply as I grow in my walk with Him. I am striving to be done with the days where quiet times were maybe once a week, when I skipped Bible study because I was too tired, when just reading Christian Living books was enough, when fellowship with friends was all about me, etc. This has allowed me to love the community of believers I am involved in! It is so encouraging, uplifting and fulfilling. I desire to grow close to the Lord through Bible study, ministry, accountability and social time. This church and the amazing people I have met has brought me closer to the Lord.
I say all this because I am utterly surprised when others do not embrace delving deep into the Word and the life of a believer. Why do they continue to stay on the surface? Why do they keep all their struggles to themselves? Why do we have to keep it "light?" Why do I feel awkward trying to direct the conversation into more meaningful waters with them? Why are they afraid to admit they are broken and need to be fixed?
I ask all these questions not to judge but to ponder and work through. I realized a lot over these last couple of years how many Christians who have grown up in the church stagnate well into adulthood. Not just for a couple of years but several years. We just continue living life without really living. What is the reason and/or the solution? I would greatly appreciate anyone's thoughts...
1 comment:
Because we are rare people... that's why. Be thankful for your mom who is willing to listen to those questions and be a listening ear or perhaps share some sage advice.
Guys can have the same questions... 1. Why does this girl not like me in that way? 2. Why do my friends abandon me when they get a girlfriend? 3. Why do my friends not take my advice more often? 3b. Why when friends do give advice do I not follow it more often? 4. Why do friends not return the same listening and advising that I offer them? 4b. Why do I not listen better instead of formulating my responses or thinking of my own stories? 5. Where is she? Do I know her and just not realize it or is she still somewhere in the future? 6. Why is it hard to be a consistent Godly example? 7. Why am I so frustrated? 8. Why do Christian marriages end in divorce as much as secular ones? 9. Why does God have to inflict pain in order for me to learn? Just a few... actually I stole most of yours and reworded them... but I think those are things we have all thought and pondered at some time or another... so don't feel alone in that.
Continue to seek Him and He will make His presence known in your life and it will answer all the ?'s above and more. That may seem like the churchy answer but as Christians I think we often seek to find someone like us, but we're too afraid to be public about our struggles with discovering God in our day to day. Part of all of this is the sanctification process as God surrounds us with people to refine us and demonstrate His unchanging character in new ways.. if we would but pay attention.
I think fear is what holds us back in the end. Fear that God is going to mess our lives up or it won't turn out the way we want it too. It's hard to live the American Dream and follow Christ (see Rich Young Ruler). Fear that people are going to use our weakness against us to get ahead or stab us in the back. Fear that others might not like the jacked up person on the inside because they are so in love with the clown we portray for everyone to see. Fear that we truly are broken... and beyond repair...
What is the solution... being the first to break the mold. Continue to be authentic and transparent... when people see you being vulnerable first then it allows them to respond in turn or at least see an example of something being there that wasn't before. First pray... for yourself to lean on Him through it all, for others to see Christ in you, the hope of glory, and finally that God would be seen and glorified through all of it as you decrease so He can increase.
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