It’s undeniable that we should be together
It’s unbelievable, how I used to say that I’d fall never
The basis is need to know
If you just don’t know how I feel
Then let me show you that now I’m for real
If all the things in time, time will reveal
Yeah
1 - one, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl it’s plain to see
That you’re the only one for me and
Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I’ll start back at one
(yeah)
It’s so incredible, the way things work themselves out
And all emotional, once you know what it’s all about, hey
And undesirable, for us to be apart
I never would’ve made it very far
’cause you know you got the keys to my heart
’cause...
Repeat 1
Say farewell to the dark of night
I see the coming of the sun
I feel like a little child, whose life has just begun
You came and breathed new life into this lonely heart of mine
You threw out the life line
Just in the nick of time
Brian McKnight
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Limbo
Right now I feel that I am in limbo. Some tough things have happened in my life very recently and I am not sure what it is God is doing. I feel like I want to know what will happen months from now but I can barely make it through one day without being emotional. I find myself questioning so much about who I am and what I want. What is the purpose of my life? Where are you leading me Lord? How do I get out of bed each morning and choose to be joyful? How do I praise you through these hard times?
I do know this: Before these trials, I never have spent enough time listening to God and actually hearing His voice. I have not spent a lot of time in devoted prayer or spent any real time fasting about anything. I let other things distract me into feeling content. But as soon as a trial comes, I am suddenly drawing closer to God. I did not live liked I needed Him as much when life was not as hard. Now I feel the Lord drawing me closer to Him so I can learn what true intimacy is.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8
I do know this: Before these trials, I never have spent enough time listening to God and actually hearing His voice. I have not spent a lot of time in devoted prayer or spent any real time fasting about anything. I let other things distract me into feeling content. But as soon as a trial comes, I am suddenly drawing closer to God. I did not live liked I needed Him as much when life was not as hard. Now I feel the Lord drawing me closer to Him so I can learn what true intimacy is.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tough times
My heart hurts right now for many reasons and thankfully the Lord knows those. I am trying to lean on Him for support and comfort but it is tough. I keep asking questions when I know I should trust Him. I keep wanting all the answers and wanting to know what the future holds but He has just asked me to have faith in Him right now. My mom shared these verses with me during a very trying time at work.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Isaiah 43: 2-3a
How encouraging it is to know He will be with me through the pain and the flames will not set me ablaze!
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Isaiah 43: 2-3a
How encouraging it is to know He will be with me through the pain and the flames will not set me ablaze!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
He is always faithful
This is a song by Sara Groves I first heard in 2007. It has always struck a chord with me and especially now, as I look back on over 20 years as a Christian. I can see His hand through it all.
Morning by morning I wake up to find
the power and comfort of God's hand in mine.
Season by season I watch him amazed, in
awe of the mystery of his perfect ways
CHORUS:
All I have need of his hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me
I can't remember a trial or a pain he did
not recycle to bring me gain. I can't
remember one single regret in serving
God only and trusting his hand
CHORUS
This is my anthem, this is my song, the
theme of the stories I've heard for so long.
God has been faithful, he will be again.
His loving compassion, it knows no end.
Morning by morning I wake up to find
the power and comfort of God's hand in mine.
Season by season I watch him amazed, in
awe of the mystery of his perfect ways
CHORUS:
All I have need of his hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me
I can't remember a trial or a pain he did
not recycle to bring me gain. I can't
remember one single regret in serving
God only and trusting his hand
CHORUS
This is my anthem, this is my song, the
theme of the stories I've heard for so long.
God has been faithful, he will be again.
His loving compassion, it knows no end.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Prone to Wander
No words can express what I am feeling today so I found the lyrics to one of the greatest hymns ever written.
Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.
Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I’ll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.
Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.
Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I’ll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Sanctification
In my last post, I spoke about the Lord preparing me for something big in my life. I am not sure what exactly that may be but I know I am being sanctified right now. He is constantly revealing the sins of my heart and how they keep me from fellowship with Him. At times, I do not want to accept the discipline. I think that it is too hard to let go of my pride and submit to His sharpening. I can remember a time when I thought the Christian life got easier as we grew. Boy was I wrong! God allows trials and suffering in our lives to build our character Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4
He allows these times for our good, not to be mean to us. Only the enemy wants to discourage us during these trials. 26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:26-28
This past Sunday morning I was really bothered by something. It continued to plague my mind throughout church and the afternoon. It was something I felt that I was supposed to be in control of therefore I was worried about it. I felt I needed to be doing something about it. The Lord helped me see that His plan is sovereign and I cannot control this. I finally felt a sense of peace.
27 "I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:27
10 Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10
I was encouraged by Larry Crabb's book Inside Out, which deals with the fact that our sins keep us from real change. Until we deal with the truth about our lives, we cannot move onto changing. In the chapter entitled "The Problem of Damandingness," he says to trust God is to demand nothing. He relates this demandingness to Job's condition. He then exposes Job's ugliness to him.
3 You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?'
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.
4 "You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.'
5 My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
6 Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes."
Job 42:3-6
I realized I had been demanding of God in certain areas of my life and I had to repent right away! If I am constantly demanding things from Him, I will be miserable. I have to trust Him fully to accomplish His will in my life.
Just wanted to share what was on my heart.
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4
He allows these times for our good, not to be mean to us. Only the enemy wants to discourage us during these trials. 26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:26-28
This past Sunday morning I was really bothered by something. It continued to plague my mind throughout church and the afternoon. It was something I felt that I was supposed to be in control of therefore I was worried about it. I felt I needed to be doing something about it. The Lord helped me see that His plan is sovereign and I cannot control this. I finally felt a sense of peace.
27 "I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:27
10 Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10
I was encouraged by Larry Crabb's book Inside Out, which deals with the fact that our sins keep us from real change. Until we deal with the truth about our lives, we cannot move onto changing. In the chapter entitled "The Problem of Damandingness," he says to trust God is to demand nothing. He relates this demandingness to Job's condition. He then exposes Job's ugliness to him.
3 You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?'
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.
4 "You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.'
5 My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
6 Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes."
Job 42:3-6
I realized I had been demanding of God in certain areas of my life and I had to repent right away! If I am constantly demanding things from Him, I will be miserable. I have to trust Him fully to accomplish His will in my life.
Just wanted to share what was on my heart.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Fall down like rain
It has been WAY too long since my last post and I am not sure that anyone checks this anymore but I have some things on my heart that I want to say.
I feel that the Lord has been preparing me for something really big since July of 2007 when I came back Quba. I learned a lot about people who have so few possessions yet have a huge desire for the Lord. They were in such need physically and when they were introduced to the Lord, they accepted Him so willingly. It was was amazing to see their passion for the Lord and it made me analyze my focus on "things" that take the place of God in my life.
Throughout all of last year as I experienced the life of a teacher, I was faced with many challenges. It felt like drudgery to get up incredibly early everyday and face the monsters waiting for me to teach them something important. I was tired most days and emotionally drained. I had no desire to love these hateful children. They had nothing nice to say nor did they have any real commitment to school work. Their lives outside of school were full of problems and therefore they were a product of their environment. Their parents sent them to my class to babysit them as well as discipline them, parent them, teach them social skills, educate them, give them advice and pretty much teach them anything that they had not learned at home. I did not take well to accepting my task at hand. I was so angry all the time and struggled to see anything positive about what I was doing at this school. I certainly had yelled at them and said things out of emotion. I definitely had hatred in my heart for the bad kids. I could have cared less about the gangsters. I had no compassion for the girls that gave me a nasty response when I told them to stay on task and stop talking. I tried to get the counselors to transfer these kids out of my class. They did at times but that was not always the solution to the problem.
I kept asking the Lord for another job or at least another grade level to switch to. I figured I could survive the school year and transfer somewhere else where the kids actually liked me. I mean, they did not care about what I was teaching so why should I care about them? Well the Lord was continuing to work on my prideful heart everyday. In the spring I did the Breaking Free Bible study by Beth Moore and saw the many strongholds in my life. I also learned how Satan had gotten a foothold in my heart. I was against the students and they were against me because I wanted to control them. I also had pride because if they treated me with disrespect I had no desire to give them much mercy. Once they were wrong, they were wrong always. I had to learn how to pray for the hard students in order to let the Lord soften my heart. At times, I did repair the relationship with the difficult student but mostly I tried to find them doing something wrong.
During the spring semester, I was also struggling with singleness. Several friends had gotten engaged in December and several more in the spring. It seemed that the singles department at church had a whirlwind of dating couples, engaged couples and newly married couples. My younger sister had also gotten engaged. This was crushing my spirit. I kept comparing myself to others and felt I was ready for a relationship but it was not happening. When you start comparing yourself to other believers you begin to covet what they have. I had other girlfriends who were single and it seemed to be the topic of conversation. Who likes who and who we could date and who will we marry. Why are we still single? Are we all that bad? That just further deepened the longing.
The Lord kept speaking to my heart and blessed me abundantly. He kept giving me amazing opportunities to share my faith with others and to serve Him. I formed a bond with a few students at school that felt they could trust me. I also was able to be there for some new friends in my life and encourage them. I was blessed with a summer job to pay off my taxes. I was able to be involved in the contemporary choir ministry where I met one of my closest friends. I had also grown closer to another friend of mine. God then gave then gave me rest in July 2008 since I had the summer off from teaching. It was nice to not work for a month and a half! I enjoyed spending lots of time with my friends and serving the community with my church. I got to see my parents in Lake Charles and spend much needed quality time with them.
My life was full and I was trying to walk closer with the Lord each day. He kept softening my heart towards Him. I was learning how to pray more fervently and serve wholeheartedly. I accepted that He had created me as a listener and an advice giver therefore that was how I was to serve Him.
But Lord, I want to be a wife and mother! I want to practice loving someone like You love the Church. I want someone to pursue me and challenge me in my faith. I desire to glorify You through being in a relationship Lord! I am excited about it and I will accept the task at hand! I have served my time as a single. I love all the things I get to do but I would prefer to be in relationship. This desire gets stronger everyday!
A new friend of mine showed me this verse:
For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
Psalm 84:11
And I also found this to be encouraging:
Yet, O LORD, you are our Father.
We are the clay, you are the potter;
we are all the work of your hand.
Isaiah 64:8
Lord, I trust You with my life. You created me with Your hands! How could I question You? You will bestow honor on those whose walk is blameless. You will not withhold good from me. I have no need to worry about being married because you have called me to be anxious for nothing (Phil. 4:6,7).
I heard this amazing song at choir practice on Wednesday and linked the entire song to the title of my entry (just click on it). It is called Open Up the Sky by Jonathan Stockstill who sings at Bethany Prayer Center in Baton Rouge. Here are the lyrics:
verse 1
Our beloved Father please come down and meet us
We are waiting on Your touch
Open up the heavens, shower down Your presence
We respond to Your great love
pre-chorus
We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won't be satisfied at all
chorus
Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire,
We don't want anything but You
verse 2
Our beloved Jesus we just want to see You
in the glory of Your light
Earthly things don't matter
They just fade and shatter
When we're touched by love divine
chorus
Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire,
We don't want anything but You
Bridge
Here we go lets go to the throne
This is the song of my heart...
I feel that the Lord has been preparing me for something really big since July of 2007 when I came back Quba. I learned a lot about people who have so few possessions yet have a huge desire for the Lord. They were in such need physically and when they were introduced to the Lord, they accepted Him so willingly. It was was amazing to see their passion for the Lord and it made me analyze my focus on "things" that take the place of God in my life.
Throughout all of last year as I experienced the life of a teacher, I was faced with many challenges. It felt like drudgery to get up incredibly early everyday and face the monsters waiting for me to teach them something important. I was tired most days and emotionally drained. I had no desire to love these hateful children. They had nothing nice to say nor did they have any real commitment to school work. Their lives outside of school were full of problems and therefore they were a product of their environment. Their parents sent them to my class to babysit them as well as discipline them, parent them, teach them social skills, educate them, give them advice and pretty much teach them anything that they had not learned at home. I did not take well to accepting my task at hand. I was so angry all the time and struggled to see anything positive about what I was doing at this school. I certainly had yelled at them and said things out of emotion. I definitely had hatred in my heart for the bad kids. I could have cared less about the gangsters. I had no compassion for the girls that gave me a nasty response when I told them to stay on task and stop talking. I tried to get the counselors to transfer these kids out of my class. They did at times but that was not always the solution to the problem.
I kept asking the Lord for another job or at least another grade level to switch to. I figured I could survive the school year and transfer somewhere else where the kids actually liked me. I mean, they did not care about what I was teaching so why should I care about them? Well the Lord was continuing to work on my prideful heart everyday. In the spring I did the Breaking Free Bible study by Beth Moore and saw the many strongholds in my life. I also learned how Satan had gotten a foothold in my heart. I was against the students and they were against me because I wanted to control them. I also had pride because if they treated me with disrespect I had no desire to give them much mercy. Once they were wrong, they were wrong always. I had to learn how to pray for the hard students in order to let the Lord soften my heart. At times, I did repair the relationship with the difficult student but mostly I tried to find them doing something wrong.
During the spring semester, I was also struggling with singleness. Several friends had gotten engaged in December and several more in the spring. It seemed that the singles department at church had a whirlwind of dating couples, engaged couples and newly married couples. My younger sister had also gotten engaged. This was crushing my spirit. I kept comparing myself to others and felt I was ready for a relationship but it was not happening. When you start comparing yourself to other believers you begin to covet what they have. I had other girlfriends who were single and it seemed to be the topic of conversation. Who likes who and who we could date and who will we marry. Why are we still single? Are we all that bad? That just further deepened the longing.
The Lord kept speaking to my heart and blessed me abundantly. He kept giving me amazing opportunities to share my faith with others and to serve Him. I formed a bond with a few students at school that felt they could trust me. I also was able to be there for some new friends in my life and encourage them. I was blessed with a summer job to pay off my taxes. I was able to be involved in the contemporary choir ministry where I met one of my closest friends. I had also grown closer to another friend of mine. God then gave then gave me rest in July 2008 since I had the summer off from teaching. It was nice to not work for a month and a half! I enjoyed spending lots of time with my friends and serving the community with my church. I got to see my parents in Lake Charles and spend much needed quality time with them.
My life was full and I was trying to walk closer with the Lord each day. He kept softening my heart towards Him. I was learning how to pray more fervently and serve wholeheartedly. I accepted that He had created me as a listener and an advice giver therefore that was how I was to serve Him.
But Lord, I want to be a wife and mother! I want to practice loving someone like You love the Church. I want someone to pursue me and challenge me in my faith. I desire to glorify You through being in a relationship Lord! I am excited about it and I will accept the task at hand! I have served my time as a single. I love all the things I get to do but I would prefer to be in relationship. This desire gets stronger everyday!
A new friend of mine showed me this verse:
For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
Psalm 84:11
And I also found this to be encouraging:
Yet, O LORD, you are our Father.
We are the clay, you are the potter;
we are all the work of your hand.
Isaiah 64:8
Lord, I trust You with my life. You created me with Your hands! How could I question You? You will bestow honor on those whose walk is blameless. You will not withhold good from me. I have no need to worry about being married because you have called me to be anxious for nothing (Phil. 4:6,7).
I heard this amazing song at choir practice on Wednesday and linked the entire song to the title of my entry (just click on it). It is called Open Up the Sky by Jonathan Stockstill who sings at Bethany Prayer Center in Baton Rouge. Here are the lyrics:
verse 1
Our beloved Father please come down and meet us
We are waiting on Your touch
Open up the heavens, shower down Your presence
We respond to Your great love
pre-chorus
We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won't be satisfied at all
chorus
Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire,
We don't want anything but You
verse 2
Our beloved Jesus we just want to see You
in the glory of Your light
Earthly things don't matter
They just fade and shatter
When we're touched by love divine
chorus
Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire,
We don't want anything but You
Bridge
Here we go lets go to the throne
This is the song of my heart...
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