Limbo

Right now I feel that I am in limbo. Some tough things have happened in my life very recently and I am not sure what it is God is doing. I feel like I want to know what will happen months from now but I can barely make it through one day without being emotional. I find myself questioning so much about who I am and what I want. What is the purpose of my life? Where are you leading me Lord? How do I get out of bed each morning and choose to be joyful? How do I praise you through these hard times?

I do know this: Before these trials, I never have spent enough time listening to God and actually hearing His voice. I have not spent a lot of time in devoted prayer or spent any real time fasting about anything. I let other things distract me into feeling content. But as soon as a trial comes, I am suddenly drawing closer to God. I did not live liked I needed Him as much when life was not as hard. Now I feel the Lord drawing me closer to Him so I can learn what true intimacy is.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8

Tough times

My heart hurts right now for many reasons and thankfully the Lord knows those. I am trying to lean on Him for support and comfort but it is tough. I keep asking questions when I know I should trust Him. I keep wanting all the answers and wanting to know what the future holds but He has just asked me to have faith in Him right now. My mom shared these verses with me during a very trying time at work.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Isaiah 43: 2-3a

How encouraging it is to know He will be with me through the pain and the flames will not set me ablaze!

He is always faithful

This is a song by Sara Groves I first heard in 2007. It has always struck a chord with me and especially now, as I look back on over 20 years as a Christian. I can see His hand through it all.

Morning by morning I wake up to find
the power and comfort of God's hand in mine.
Season by season I watch him amazed, in
awe of the mystery of his perfect ways

CHORUS:
All I have need of his hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me

I can't remember a trial or a pain he did
not recycle to bring me gain. I can't
remember one single regret in serving
God only and trusting his hand

CHORUS

This is my anthem, this is my song, the
theme of the stories I've heard for so long.
God has been faithful, he will be again.
His loving compassion, it knows no end.