Two weeks ago today, God answered a prayer BOLDLY for me. I had been praying about this request for nearly 7 months...not as long as some requests but it was still something I anxiously anticipated an answer to. I dreamt idealistically and hopefully throughout the changing seasons. I would ponder this request at random times during the day, as well as at night in my dreams. I kept waiting and wondering and asking and worrying at times. I would surrender it to the altar but only to selfishly take it back. I finally placed it there a few days before I received the answer. When God vividly answered me, it was not the answer I had hoped for. Sigh.I felt disappointed and shocked...but only for a brief while.
The sermon at church that night was about God preparing us for something that we are unaware of at the current moment. He many times takes things away and moves things in our lives and closes doors on things that we have set our hearts on. He does all this to prepare us for a specific purpose. This was exactly what the Lord wanted me to hear! I knew it so clearly why He had said no to my request on the very same day He answered me! I spent the rest of the night praying and journaling and thanking the Lord for His answer. I breathed a sigh of relief instead of a spirit of bitterness. He gave me such a relaxed mind that week. I felt I had finally let go of this issue and He was all I needed. He was trying to teach me this all along but I was struggling with Him about it. I was not wanting to accept it.
I have to say this is the best place to be. Right at His feet in worship and obedience. Not in a place of worry or anxiety or anger or unbelief. Those are all sins according to Him. Why would I want to be there? It does not bring any joy or satisfaction. I am so encouraged by His Word and the blessings He has given me since I surrendered myself to Him.
One of my favorite speakers taught a sermon on Abraham sacrificing Isaac several months ago and he asked us, "What is your Isaac? What is it you are holding onto that you are not giving to God? Are you afraid if you give it to Him, He will not give you the desire of your heart? Maybe all He wants you to do is surrender it to Him so He can give to you Himself." Gosh how that spoke to me! That message prepared me for how He answered my prayers. Again, I am so thankful that He answered me and that I can be at peace with it. What an amazing God we serve who fiercly loves us and is so committed to us!
Praise Him!
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1
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