The Church of Oprah Exposed

For many years I have watched the Oprah show at 4pm. Not every day, but maybe once a week when I got a chance. I came to really like most of the topics she presented on her show. Everytime I talked about her to my mom, she would always say she did not agree with her beliefs and therefore would not watch her. I of course continued because I thought she was no so bad. Well after just watching this You Tube video I have changed my mind about her. I am so sad that she actually believes these things!

Breathing is good

Two weeks ago today, God answered a prayer BOLDLY for me. I had been praying about this request for nearly 7 months...not as long as some requests but it was still something I anxiously anticipated an answer to. I dreamt idealistically and hopefully throughout the changing seasons. I would ponder this request at random times during the day, as well as at night in my dreams. I kept waiting and wondering and asking and worrying at times. I would surrender it to the altar but only to selfishly take it back. I finally placed it there a few days before I received the answer. When God vividly answered me, it was not the answer I had hoped for. Sigh.I felt disappointed and shocked...but only for a brief while.

The sermon at church that night was about God preparing us for something that we are unaware of at the current moment. He many times takes things away and moves things in our lives and closes doors on things that we have set our hearts on. He does all this to prepare us for a specific purpose. This was exactly what the Lord wanted me to hear! I knew it so clearly why He had said no to my request on the very same day He answered me! I spent the rest of the night praying and journaling and thanking the Lord for His answer. I breathed a sigh of relief instead of a spirit of bitterness. He gave me such a relaxed mind that week. I felt I had finally let go of this issue and He was all I needed. He was trying to teach me this all along but I was struggling with Him about it. I was not wanting to accept it.

I have to say this is the best place to be. Right at His feet in worship and obedience. Not in a place of worry or anxiety or anger or unbelief. Those are all sins according to Him. Why would I want to be there? It does not bring any joy or satisfaction. I am so encouraged by His Word and the blessings He has given me since I surrendered myself to Him.

One of my favorite speakers taught a sermon on Abraham sacrificing Isaac several months ago and he asked us, "What is your Isaac? What is it you are holding onto that you are not giving to God? Are you afraid if you give it to Him, He will not give you the desire of your heart? Maybe all He wants you to do is surrender it to Him so He can give to you Himself." Gosh how that spoke to me! That message prepared me for how He answered my prayers. Again, I am so thankful that He answered me and that I can be at peace with it. What an amazing God we serve who fiercly loves us and is so committed to us!
Praise Him!

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

There is something there

So it has been over 3 months since my last post and I have so been wanting to post. I mean I had thoughts milling around in my brain but I just did not possess the energy to type them out. It takes a lot for me to write my blogs at times...mostly because I want them to be perfect. I don't want them to be about nonsense or superficial topics. I want them to mean something. When I read the blogs of others, I mostly enjoy when they share about what God is doing in their lives or when they share personal things that lets me know who they are. I feel that mine must be the same.

To give you an update, in the last three months I feel that I have grown a lot in my teaching abilities. I feel more at ease with my kids and not so quick to scold them or discipline. I also have really gotten to build some strong relationships with some of my girls. They have come to me with their boy stories and cried about them. I have allowed for "therapy" sessions in some of my classes rather than going over the lesson for the day. I am true believer in the value of relationships so if they want to talk, I want to listen! I know the Lord has placed me there to be a light to them and I want to be one! I love them so dearly and it breaks my heart when they are hurting.

We just ended the food unit last week and yesterday I began the sewing unit with all my classes. I was really looking forward to it because I am not much of a sewer but would like to become one. I also wanted to teach them new things! To being the unit, I started my 8th period class with a lesson on clothing. I posed the question,"Do you think that your clothes define you?" So many of them said yes they do. We continued to discuss labels and designer brands and why they are important to them. My most outspoken group consists of 2 girls and a boy, all 7th graders. All three of them do not shop at Wal-Mart and basically said they would be considered "uncool" by their classmates if they wore cheaper brand clothing. They also think that your clothes must match and be of mostly the same brand.

On of my favorite students in that class spoke up and said it was not about what you wear, rather it is who you are on the inside that counts. I was so excited about this statement and I repeated it to the class. This boy has come a long way in his maturity and social confidence since school started in August. He rarely spoke and when he did, he stuttered a lot and usually did not make sense. He was what other students might refer to as "nerdy." His parents are not from the states and they actually care about his grades and behavior. This semester he has almost blossomed in a way. He talks more to his table mates, he joins in class discussions, he greets me properly as he comes to class, he always smiles, he talks openly about how life, and he also sings Linkin Park for the class when we want to be entertained.

The other student in the class, Matthew, whom I also love, is an extremely intelligent, well-versed, well-spoken 8th grader. He shares such profound thoughts in our class discussions. His opinions are so opposite of the majority of students in our school. His attitude proves to me he has been raised very well and I am always anticipating his next statement. Anyway, as we discussed clothing, I posed another question,"If your parents only had a small amount of money to spend on your school clothes and said you could only get clothes from Wal-Mart and Payless, would you take the clothes from there or would you choose to refrain from getting clothes?" The outspoken group said No way! We don't them clothes! But Matthew said,"My style of clothing is the original Matthew (his last name) style. Just jeans, a t-shirt and then a button down shirt thrown over that. My mom regularly shops at Wal-Mart for us and also takes us to thrift stores to buy clothes. When she buys clothes for me, I am just so thankful to have them that I could not imagine complaining about where they came from." I just about cried after he said that! Wow! What an amazingly grateful kid. He is just so real and so mature.

I remember being in junior high and complaining about which label of clothes I did not have. I was constantly mad at my parents because they would not buy me expensive clothes. I just wanted to fit in with all the other kids. Why could I not wear short shorts? Why could I not have a nice pair of jeans? Why could y'all not buy Filas for me? Why couldn't I have a pair of Girbauds? It was one complaint after another and rarely was I thankful for what they could provide. As I teach these adolescents, I am reminded of just how self-absorbed I was at that age. My life consisted of friends, boys, friends, boys, friends, boys. I was a part of my church's youth group but boys were there too and there were so many to have crushes on! I carried around a brush in my back pocket so at any moment I could fix my hair. I also wore dark magenta lipstick and maybe some mascara. I always made sure to reapply my lipstick because God forbid someone saw me with out it! I used to wear those tall white socks with soccer sandals and at times, I would wear my brother's Tommy Hilfiger shirt. I thought it was so cool. My attitude towards my parents was pretty disrespectful. I was not allowed to have a boyfriend but boy did I make it know that I did not like that rule! I had a few boyfriends behind their backs but of course, there was one time where I got caught. Listening to the way Matthew talks with such respect, makes me see that there is still hope for these kids. They can respect and love others and be a good example to their classmates. It is possible for them to be mature and respond appropriately to situations. It also makes me sad that I was not respectful to my parents and I took them for granted. If one day God chooses to bless me with children, I will have to experience the dreaded puberty years with them. I hope and pray I will remember that it is just a phase and I will give God my hurt feelings for the ways they may treat me. My prayer is that I will be a godly example to them and to remember they are going through so much at that age. And when I feel that they are so hard to like during adolescence, God will remind me they are still a special gift from Him for me cherish and love.

All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
and great shall be the peace of your children.

—Isaiah 54:13