It's over

Yay! Today was the last day we had the kids and boy it could not end quick enough! We had a ton of procedures to follow since historically, kids do crazy stunts on the last day. Nothing happened that I know of. The teachers and staff celebrated by squeaking noise makers as the kids rode off on the buses and waved at us. They also played a"Good Bye" through the PA. It was such a sight! I am sooo tired I wish I could sleep for days. Too bad I have a "professional day" tomorrow and then it is onto summer school. I will wrote more of my thoughts later. It's off to bed!

It's all about us

Yesterday my kids were talking about teachers at the school having a Myspace and how some of them accepted friend requests from students. One of my opinionated girls commented,
"Adults should not have a Myspace. It is only for teenagers and should only be for us. I don't know why y'all be having a Myspace."
To which I said, "Um Myspace is huge and anyone can get on it. Besides, it was created before you all were ever on it!"

I decided to keep the rest of my opinions to myself. These self-absorbed teens would not understand in their adolescence that the world does not revolve around them and that there is life outside of friends, entertainment and crushes.
As I told this story to my mom she laughed aloud and told me that is exactly the type of statement I made to them when I was a self-centered jr. higher.
"Did you imagine yourself being in the opposite role as an adult having teens not appreciate anything you do or say?"
"Nope. I never thought I would be in this position. It seems that no matter what, most of them could care less about what I say and they criticize everything I do! I am never right with them."
She gave some encouraging words but wow do these kids make me feel old! I find myself saying so many typical adult statements like:
"Because I said so."
"No you cannot do that.
"STOP making those noises!"
"Stop talking...for the rest of the day."
"Why aren't you listening?"
"Were you not paying attention?"
"You must have not been listening."
"I am only going to tell you once."
"Just trust me."
"You are only in middle school."
"You are just a teenager."
"It is not all about you."
"Your attitude will not be tolerated."
"With that attitude, there are consequences."

I say all these things but often times with more emotion behind them.
Even though I feel beat down a lot by them, the Lord encourages me with those few kids who really like to share their lives with me and treat me with kindness and respect. He never promised us that we always be treated in the way that we should but I find myself expecting it rather than being surprised by it. Maybe that is why He has me teaching jr. high.

Another story about my fave sudent

Let's just call him "Aidan" since that is one of my preferred names for a future son...if I have one.

On Friday my kids took their Exploring Foods and Fabrics final exam. As the kids were quietly testing, I walked around the room to monitor. Aidan had finished early but he looked really down and a little worried.

"Are you okay?" I asked.
"No I am worried about the high school courses I have to sign up for next year. We are choosing our classes over the next few days and honestly, I have no clue what I want to do with my life! I mean there are 3 things I could possibly do: be a band director, work in politics, or do something with math since I am good at it. They want us to choose courses that will be on the path of our future career."
"Well the good thing is that you do not have to know right now what to do with your life. Those 3 career paths seem like a great fit for you and you will have many options in high school to figure out what you want to do. Relax! You can decide on all that later!"

He loosened up and began talking about this new girlfriend he currently had. It turns out he had a crush on her since 2nd grade (6 years) and they had been good friends for the last 2 years. She finally returned the feelings. They officially had been together for only a couple of months. When he first told me about her, he called her "the girl of my dreams." Wow. To be in 8th grade and already you have the girl of your dreams. I only fear what comes later in life.
Anyway, Aidan went onto tell me that she really is now allowed to have a boyfriend to which I immediately encouraged him to respect her parent's rules and just be friends with her. He is a good kid and I believe he could be a believer so of course I could not approve of the relationship being behind her parent's back. He said I was right (I usually am).
Fast forward to today. Aidan came to class late. As I greeted him at the door, he came in and apologized. Then he proceeded to sit at his table and lay his head down. This is very uncharacteristic for him as he is almost always lively and smiling. I called up the students one by one to get their exam grade and when Aidan came up, he again looked worried. I questioned him about what was wrong.

"I am just stressed out. I am still trying to figure out what to do with me life but I have no clue. I am also worried since I don't always study all the time for math and I am afraid I will carry those habits into high school. Also, the girl of my dreams broke up with me today. She told me already that she was going to be single in high school to focus on her studies so she was planning to break up with me by the end of the school year. I just did not expect her to break up with me today. I am really sad about it. I just don't understand why it can't work out. I feel like I have these great plans but they just don't go as planned."

"Well Aidan, I am really sorry about the girl breaking up with you. I know that sucks. I totally understand where you are coming from. I do know that there is someone bigger than us that has the best plans for our lives. Even though we think we know what is good for us He knows what is best. You are only in 8th grade so don't stress about your future. You have plenty of time to decide what to do. Also, you never know how life could change for you and the girl. She might change her mind in high school about wanting to be single. Just go into the summer and have a fun time without thinking too hard."

I just feel for this kid. He is going through normal adolescent issues and trying to figure out how to deal with them. I am thankful though that he opens up about his life and it gives me an opportunity to share about THE TRUE ONE who directs our steps and gives a hope for living. Praise the Lord these talks!

Therapy

This past 3 weeks of school I have had my kiddoes sewing aprons. This is their first big project since their beginner class last semester. I knew this project would be a little bit harder to teach since I have NEVER sewn an apron before! But I have enjoyed watching them piece together each part as it slowly came together.

Last week I was sitting down at the table with 3 boys in my 8th period class (my fave period) as I taught them how to hand sew their pocket. One boy had moved on ahead and stitched his pocket wrong to which I pointed out. He seemed a little downcast so I asked what was up.
"It has just been a horrible, horrible day. It's just been bad."
"Well why do you say that S ?"
"My older brother just gets on my nerves because he is always bossing me around. He thinks he knows everything and he can tell me what to do."

The counselor in me started to sympathize with him and give him some advice. Right after S opened up, my fave male student, the brightest, most kind, most mature 8th grader you will ever know, pipes up:

"Yeah, let's have a little therapy session here in our sewing circle! Let's talk about our feelings! This is great Miss Humphrey!"
I laughed aloud and made a mental note to write a blog about his comment. I could not get over it! Where did that come from? None of the other students I have can possibly compare to how profound he is. Everyday he greets me with a smile and calls me Miss Humphrey rather than the impersonal "Miss." When he is in class he talks about funny things, not immature graphic topics. He encourages me to be more professional when I don't respond properly to unruly students. He makes the classroom light hearted when things get serious. He also never cusses or talks about girls in a negative way. In fact, he shared a little fact about himself when he was first in my class. This was his statement:

"You know when I was in 5th and 6th grade I never talked to girls. I was always with the my guy friends. I did not really know how to talk to them. They were never my friends. But last year in 7th grade was the first time girls became my friend. It's really cool how now I talk to girls all the time. I actually know what to say!"

Then one day about a month later as he walked into my classroom, I was standing by my door (we have to greet our students at the door for every class) making conversation with students they walked in. I said to him, "M you were kind of quiet yesterday.
"Really? Well today I am really excited!"
"Why, do you have a new girlfriend?"
"Yeah! She is the girl of my dreams!"

I refrained from saying, oh but she will probably break your heart! You are too young for real love. Just wait till you are older and more serious. Then you can be in a real relationship. Right now, just focus on having friends, staying out of trouble and doing your school work.
All I could do was smile and be happy for him. I knew that the parent in me probably should not burst his bubble.
How could you not love this kid??

The Church of Oprah Exposed

For many years I have watched the Oprah show at 4pm. Not every day, but maybe once a week when I got a chance. I came to really like most of the topics she presented on her show. Everytime I talked about her to my mom, she would always say she did not agree with her beliefs and therefore would not watch her. I of course continued because I thought she was no so bad. Well after just watching this You Tube video I have changed my mind about her. I am so sad that she actually believes these things!

Breathing is good

Two weeks ago today, God answered a prayer BOLDLY for me. I had been praying about this request for nearly 7 months...not as long as some requests but it was still something I anxiously anticipated an answer to. I dreamt idealistically and hopefully throughout the changing seasons. I would ponder this request at random times during the day, as well as at night in my dreams. I kept waiting and wondering and asking and worrying at times. I would surrender it to the altar but only to selfishly take it back. I finally placed it there a few days before I received the answer. When God vividly answered me, it was not the answer I had hoped for. Sigh.I felt disappointed and shocked...but only for a brief while.

The sermon at church that night was about God preparing us for something that we are unaware of at the current moment. He many times takes things away and moves things in our lives and closes doors on things that we have set our hearts on. He does all this to prepare us for a specific purpose. This was exactly what the Lord wanted me to hear! I knew it so clearly why He had said no to my request on the very same day He answered me! I spent the rest of the night praying and journaling and thanking the Lord for His answer. I breathed a sigh of relief instead of a spirit of bitterness. He gave me such a relaxed mind that week. I felt I had finally let go of this issue and He was all I needed. He was trying to teach me this all along but I was struggling with Him about it. I was not wanting to accept it.

I have to say this is the best place to be. Right at His feet in worship and obedience. Not in a place of worry or anxiety or anger or unbelief. Those are all sins according to Him. Why would I want to be there? It does not bring any joy or satisfaction. I am so encouraged by His Word and the blessings He has given me since I surrendered myself to Him.

One of my favorite speakers taught a sermon on Abraham sacrificing Isaac several months ago and he asked us, "What is your Isaac? What is it you are holding onto that you are not giving to God? Are you afraid if you give it to Him, He will not give you the desire of your heart? Maybe all He wants you to do is surrender it to Him so He can give to you Himself." Gosh how that spoke to me! That message prepared me for how He answered my prayers. Again, I am so thankful that He answered me and that I can be at peace with it. What an amazing God we serve who fiercly loves us and is so committed to us!
Praise Him!

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

There is something there

So it has been over 3 months since my last post and I have so been wanting to post. I mean I had thoughts milling around in my brain but I just did not possess the energy to type them out. It takes a lot for me to write my blogs at times...mostly because I want them to be perfect. I don't want them to be about nonsense or superficial topics. I want them to mean something. When I read the blogs of others, I mostly enjoy when they share about what God is doing in their lives or when they share personal things that lets me know who they are. I feel that mine must be the same.

To give you an update, in the last three months I feel that I have grown a lot in my teaching abilities. I feel more at ease with my kids and not so quick to scold them or discipline. I also have really gotten to build some strong relationships with some of my girls. They have come to me with their boy stories and cried about them. I have allowed for "therapy" sessions in some of my classes rather than going over the lesson for the day. I am true believer in the value of relationships so if they want to talk, I want to listen! I know the Lord has placed me there to be a light to them and I want to be one! I love them so dearly and it breaks my heart when they are hurting.

We just ended the food unit last week and yesterday I began the sewing unit with all my classes. I was really looking forward to it because I am not much of a sewer but would like to become one. I also wanted to teach them new things! To being the unit, I started my 8th period class with a lesson on clothing. I posed the question,"Do you think that your clothes define you?" So many of them said yes they do. We continued to discuss labels and designer brands and why they are important to them. My most outspoken group consists of 2 girls and a boy, all 7th graders. All three of them do not shop at Wal-Mart and basically said they would be considered "uncool" by their classmates if they wore cheaper brand clothing. They also think that your clothes must match and be of mostly the same brand.

On of my favorite students in that class spoke up and said it was not about what you wear, rather it is who you are on the inside that counts. I was so excited about this statement and I repeated it to the class. This boy has come a long way in his maturity and social confidence since school started in August. He rarely spoke and when he did, he stuttered a lot and usually did not make sense. He was what other students might refer to as "nerdy." His parents are not from the states and they actually care about his grades and behavior. This semester he has almost blossomed in a way. He talks more to his table mates, he joins in class discussions, he greets me properly as he comes to class, he always smiles, he talks openly about how life, and he also sings Linkin Park for the class when we want to be entertained.

The other student in the class, Matthew, whom I also love, is an extremely intelligent, well-versed, well-spoken 8th grader. He shares such profound thoughts in our class discussions. His opinions are so opposite of the majority of students in our school. His attitude proves to me he has been raised very well and I am always anticipating his next statement. Anyway, as we discussed clothing, I posed another question,"If your parents only had a small amount of money to spend on your school clothes and said you could only get clothes from Wal-Mart and Payless, would you take the clothes from there or would you choose to refrain from getting clothes?" The outspoken group said No way! We don't them clothes! But Matthew said,"My style of clothing is the original Matthew (his last name) style. Just jeans, a t-shirt and then a button down shirt thrown over that. My mom regularly shops at Wal-Mart for us and also takes us to thrift stores to buy clothes. When she buys clothes for me, I am just so thankful to have them that I could not imagine complaining about where they came from." I just about cried after he said that! Wow! What an amazingly grateful kid. He is just so real and so mature.

I remember being in junior high and complaining about which label of clothes I did not have. I was constantly mad at my parents because they would not buy me expensive clothes. I just wanted to fit in with all the other kids. Why could I not wear short shorts? Why could I not have a nice pair of jeans? Why could y'all not buy Filas for me? Why couldn't I have a pair of Girbauds? It was one complaint after another and rarely was I thankful for what they could provide. As I teach these adolescents, I am reminded of just how self-absorbed I was at that age. My life consisted of friends, boys, friends, boys, friends, boys. I was a part of my church's youth group but boys were there too and there were so many to have crushes on! I carried around a brush in my back pocket so at any moment I could fix my hair. I also wore dark magenta lipstick and maybe some mascara. I always made sure to reapply my lipstick because God forbid someone saw me with out it! I used to wear those tall white socks with soccer sandals and at times, I would wear my brother's Tommy Hilfiger shirt. I thought it was so cool. My attitude towards my parents was pretty disrespectful. I was not allowed to have a boyfriend but boy did I make it know that I did not like that rule! I had a few boyfriends behind their backs but of course, there was one time where I got caught. Listening to the way Matthew talks with such respect, makes me see that there is still hope for these kids. They can respect and love others and be a good example to their classmates. It is possible for them to be mature and respond appropriately to situations. It also makes me sad that I was not respectful to my parents and I took them for granted. If one day God chooses to bless me with children, I will have to experience the dreaded puberty years with them. I hope and pray I will remember that it is just a phase and I will give God my hurt feelings for the ways they may treat me. My prayer is that I will be a godly example to them and to remember they are going through so much at that age. And when I feel that they are so hard to like during adolescence, God will remind me they are still a special gift from Him for me cherish and love.

All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
and great shall be the peace of your children.

—Isaiah 54:13